Today we continue our journey through holy week by looking at events from the perspectives of different people. I am using imagination and starting each evening with a monologue from the viewpoint of a different character. Today we are looking at Simon Peter.
Was it only a few days ago, that marvellous entry into Jerusalem? It seems like a thousand years ago. Everything was going so well. I really thought this was it. Jesus would be accepted as the next great Jewish leader. The important people, those in authority would recognise who he was. Then it all went so wrong. We shared the Passover meal, he wanted to wash my feet, but I protested. He’s the leader I should serve him, but somehow he turns everything upside down. Insisted that he serve me. At that last meal when he was talking about one of us betraying him, I promised to lay down my life for him, and I meant it. When they came to arrest him, I tried to fight back and stop them, but He stopped me. When they took him away I followed him, I wanted to help, find a way to rescue him. But then, then, I betrayed him as much as that snake Judas did. They asked if I was with him and I was scared, worried what they would do to me, worried that if I said yes I would have no chance to save him. I wasn't able to save him anyway, and now I’ve let him down, let myself down, can I ever find forgiveness for my actions that night.
We know that Simon Peters world is going to be turned upside down several more times over the next few weeks, but ultimately he will find the forgiveness he seeks.
Simon Peter always strikes me as a bit of a larger than life character, the one that's always rushing in almost without thinking. In the transfiguration, when Jesus is on the mountain top with Moses and Elijah, he rushes in wanting to build shelters. When he sees Jesus walking on the water towards the boat he immediately wants to go to him and finds himself walking on the water, then he has a moment of realisation and starts to sink. In Holy week it is Peter who declares he will lay down his life for Jesus, then when the reality sets in, in the courtyard, surrounded by the leaders and people that want Jesus dead, he falters.
How often do we act like Peter? Keen to follow Jesus at first, but then when things get a bit tough, when lent seems long, we may give up. I see this in myself, a lot. I want to follow Jesus, I want to have a good spiritual life, but when I’m tired or when I'm rushing about trying to do several things at once and get out the door in time to get to work, that quiet time in the morning for prayer is the first thing that gets lost. If I'm honest it can even just be spending too much time scrolling on social media. Time that could and should be spent building my relationship with God.
However, we know how Peter’s story ends. That beautiful scene on the beach where Jesus gives Peter the opportunity to say that he loves him three times, cancelling the three denials. The same Peter that denied Jesus, will through faith go on to die for him.
The events of Holy week and Easter mean that this same life changing forgiveness is available to us all. Now, that isn't a reason to just carry on as we are. The reality is that we are human and however hard we try, we are going to mess it up at some point. That in essence is how we end up at the cross.
We, both individually and as humanity in general, get it wrong so often. We let our own self interest, our laziness, our lack of ability to focus on what we need to do and instead spend twenty minutes looking at cute cat videos get in the way of what is really important. Our relationship with God and our seeking to discern God’s will through prayer and other spiritual practices should come first. However, like for Peter, forgiveness is there. On Easter Eve, we have the chance to renew our baptism vows, to reset our relationship with God, to seek and receive forgiveness. We may mess things up but Simon Peter's story tells us that, no matter the mistakes we make, because of the cross and resurrection we can ask for and receive forgiveness and get a fresh start.
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